Imperfect but Lovely

2018 Christmas Photo

Continuing my week of expressing daily gratitude publicly, I turn to my family. As I stated, a little more succinctly on my social media walls, my family is not perfect. We’ve struggled with typical family issues, and we’ve fought to rise above them. This one thing I know about all of our children: If there were ever a need, each one of them would drop everything and rush to aid the one in need. That one truth puts everything else into perspective. Varying political views, career choices, parenting technics, personality differences … all of that is insignificant, except in the context of providing opportunity for personal growth.

So today, my gratitude focus is on my imperfect, lovely, incredible family. I adore them. I admire them. I appreciate them. Through my family I’ve grown. Because of them I’ve gained greater patience, learned to love and accept and respect myself more, increased my joy in laughter, grown in my desire to learn, found strength in loyalty, have become more determined, have grown in love and gratitude, and so much more. It is because of the imperfections in these amazing souls that I have seen opportunities for myself. I love everything about them, and I think they feel the same about me.

It’s an amazing journey – going from child to young adult to young parent to parent of adults to grandparent. From this side I’m currently moving forward on, I see that I didn’t really want for my children what I thought I wanted. I couldn’t have created better individuals if I’d have had total control – I couldn’t have even come close to making them into the incredible humans they are! And yes, I know they’re each on their own personal journey of progress and change. That’s beautiful. I love this perspective. I love changing myself as I also observe their changing.

Today I’m grateful for my family, while being acutely mindful of those without family, as well as those without family contact. Life is hard. It’s also glorious. #GiveThanks

My Pillow

Inspired by President Russell M. Nelson yesterday, I awoke this morning wondering what I would share today on social media, expressing gratitude. My mind wandered all over the place from my obvious blessings of health and amazing family and friends to the joy of walking barefoot, and finally to the pillow my head lay on. I thought about my pillow and how very much I love it! Then I thought about all the pillows in our home – how many have been packed away for company, and how many I “need” when I sleep. (You know how comforting and sleep-inducing a plethora of pillows is, right?) I remembered nights camping, using whatever I could smoosh together to create a sort of pillow, and how difficult sleep was. Then I imagined a life without pillows. Or mattresses. Or blankets. Or bedrooms. Or homes.

I got up, made my bed, then knelt beside it. When was the last time I expressed gratitude for my pillow? It was probably after my last camping trip a decade or so ago. My prayerful mind wandered to so many other blessings I haven’t expressed gratitude for: clean water, nail clippers, quiet, food choices. I-AM-SO-BLESSED. Anyone reading this is so blessed. Yep, we all have heartache, loss, pain, trials, grief, difficulties … all that stuff. We all have it. But we all have blessings too.

I’m dedicated to using my pillow as a reminder to look for, and express gratitude for blessings. So, at least twice a day, when I lie on my pillow and when I rise from it, I will turn my mind to how blessed I am. I will think on the “little” things, that are not so little for others in the world. I will let my blessings flood my mind so when the hardships try to take over, there will only be room for me to work on them, not to dwell.

Today it’s my pillow that started these recognitions. Tomorrow, when my pillow serves as a reminder, I wonder what little gift will turn me to recognize even more …

Seasons

Of the nearly 40 years I’ve been married, we’ve lived most of them either in the tropics, the hot desert, or super-wet Alaska. As much as I loved those places, I really missed the seasons.

At the beginning of each season I swear it’s my favorite. And then I realize that they *all* can’t be my favorite. Right? Wrong. They can. Just like every time I rearrange a room I wonder why I didn’t make the change earlier – It looks so much better like this, I always seem to think. This twisty thinking brings me to what I think is the truth: It’s the change that’s really the lovely part. A new season, even though I experienced that exact same season last year; Or a rearranged room, even though I had it this way two rearranging-times ago … they are changes. And change is good. It’s renewing. It’s revitalizing. It’s exciting.

When I apply this to my life, I can’t help but think this: As amazing as today is, tomorrow will surely be better. (At least on the good days I can think that.)

I have a dear friend, an elderly lady, who is like the neighborhood Kool-Aid mom (if you’re not old enough to know what I mean, google it). When the school kids stop by on their way home and knock on her door, she always has a treat for them. But first, a little conversation. She asks them, “How are you today, my friend?” And she’s taught them to reply, “Better than yesterday, but not as good as tomorrow.” Then she gives them a cookie and a smile and sends them on home. Isn’t that a lovely idea to repeat to yourself day after day?

So today, when I think about what I’m grateful for, one of the things that comes to mind is Seasons. I’m grateful for the change every few months; I’m grateful that seasons remind me that seasons in my life are to be happily anticipated and reverently remembered; I’m grateful that seasons invite me to make each day better than the last; I’m grateful for the unique beauty of each season – speaking literally and metaphorically.

Knowing that all things in mortality are (can be) symbolic, I can’t help but think of all the way seasons symbolize progress, joy, and growth. I love our seasons. I love change!